Sorry, Sorry, Sorry...

Hey people,

Many apologies for the extreme lack of posts the past week or so but unfortunately our house has been struck by the plague!
The Big Man had pneumonia and the Little One has a horrible snotty cold. Both having time off from work/school, and I'm running round like a blue arsed fly after both. Normal posting shall resume soon as everyone gets better.

Thanks for your patience!

Much Love,

Hollie-emma
xXx

Q4: How do you keep a positive attitude in the winters gloom?

1) LIGHTING!
When it's all dark and gloomy outside I don't use the 'big' light, I put a few lamps on. They all have regular 40w frosted bulbs in and the lampshades are warm red colours. The combination of bulb choice, shade colour and position in the room create a soft warm glow and help the room feel more cosy and bright without being a harsh glare coming from directly overhead. And, this may be an unpopular thing to say, but I bloody hate energy saving bulbs. Detest them. They take forever to 'warm up' by the time they emit enough light to see by, you don't need them anymore, and the light they do give I find harsh and glaring. We only use one in our house and that's only because it gets left on half the night on the landing so my daughter can see not to fall downstairs if she wakes up.

2) Blankets and a movie.
There isn't many things in this world more comforting than the security a big fluffy blanket brings you! When it's cold outside I love to grab my kid, a big tub of popcorn and some drinks, and watch a movie, all snuggled up under a big blanket. Depending on if it's before Christmas or after, we would watch something like Elf or The Muppet's Christmas Carol. (But we're only allowed to watch Muppets if The Big Man is home too, because it's tradition we all watch that one together.) Or if it's after Christmas it could be anything from Labyrinth to Lego Movie. Doesn't really matter as long as the popcorn doesn't run out.

3) Staying Hydrated.
Most people remember to stay hydrated in Summer but how many of us do in Winter? I usually have a big (grown up, honest...) sippy cup with me in the house that I drink from. As soon as I finish it I refill so I always have drink on hand. I hate the taste of water (but water doesn't have a taste you cry... It does. It's grim.) but luckily adding some squash/ cordial still counts, so I tend to have that. As well as coffee. Lots of lovely coffee. My daughter is 3, so she gets either milk, water or occasionally some weak squash in her sippy cup. When I say we have sippy cups, that's just what we call our tumblers with a lid and straw. Boo can drink from a regular cup, me too, but to be honest, I'm pretty accident prone and these are more difficult to spill.

4) Skin Care.
Cod weather can really play silly buggers with your skin. It's just as important to keep your outside hydrated as it is to keep your insides hydrated. I do this by treating myself to lovely bath time products, creams, lotions and potions, and of course, drinking plenty. Not alcohol mind...
I use a face cream before I put my make up on the keep my skin feeling awesome, and I keep my make up remover and cotton pads next to my bed so I have no excuse for sleeping in it. If I fall asleep before I get that far, I take it off first thing in the morning and don't wear make up that day. Or at least that morning.

Much Love, 

Hollie-emma
xXx

(S.A.F) Q3: What are you ready to let go of this year?

1) Negative self loathing.
I am so sick and tired of feeling bad about myself. I try my best to start the day in a happy mood and be productive, but it doesn't take long until I'm feeling like a useless 'sack o' shite' that can't even make a half decent coffee, never mind be a functioning adult.
Well bollocks to that.
This year I intend to big my self up and remind myself that it's ok to get things wrongs occasionally, that doesn't mean I'm stupid. In fact I'm pretty damn smart. I'm a bad ass boss bitch and I fucking rock.

2)All items of clothing with holes in them. (That shouldn't have holes)
I cling onto clothing for far too long. It started simply because I couldn't afford to replace them, so I made do and mended. And mended. And mended. Then as we started earning a little bit more and I discovered the joys of Primark, I could afford to buy more (and buy I did!), but I still had the keep it and fix it mentality. Now we have a pretty good income, well enough to pay the bills and live semi comfortably, I can buy nicer clothing, but I  still have a wardrobe full of clothes that are tatty, ripped, don't fit and will never be worn again. So it's time to say goodbye and throw it away or if it's still in good nick, charity shop it.

3) The hope of house training The Big Man.
Big Man and I have been together for 12 years this March. We've lived together all that time. Literally. I moved in with him 18 days after meeting him. And he still can't seem to put his damn socks in the bloody laundry tub!
He does help a lot with the housework. If I've had on off day/week then he'll help me get everything done at the weekend. But the majority of work is created by him in the first place! When he cooks he uses every damn pan in the kitchen and he doesn't wash as he goes, it just gets piled up in the sink. When he's finished in the shower the shampoo, shower gel bottles, sponges and all sorts are just left on the side of the bath and wet towels left on the floor. Sock and pants never go in the laundry tub despite it being next to where he changes. He can put his hand on the tub for balance yet can put his shitting socks in it!!!
Over a decade I've been trying to train him to not do this shit and I've failed. Time to accept it and move on.

4) That I'm not a teenager anymore...
I'm not ready to accept how old I really am. But I think I can let go of the fact I'm not 17 anymore. I still behave like a teenager. It's not something I do intentionally, I just can't seem to act like a grown up. It is beyond a piss take. Big Man thinks it's funny most of the time, calls me his child bride, tells me I'm grounded if I'm stropping,  pretends to send me to my room, calls me Kevin...
But after a while the jokes become a little too much and I feel like I'm never going to grow up and act.... not my age because I don't want to be my age, but at least a responsible adult.

Much Love,

Hollie-emma
xXx

BONUS ROUND
What am I not prepared to let go of this year?

My band T-shirts. You can have my AC/DC t shirt when you prise it from my cold, dead hands! Do you hear me Big Man?! I'll be wearing my Metallica T-shirts in the nursing home! My Motorhead T will be worn with pride till the day I die!

METAL FOREVER!!!

Q2: What new things do you want to learn this year?

1) How to use my planner effectively.

The Big Man got me a Dokibook for Christmas from LoveDoki. I chose the royal purple and gold in large and he even bought me some inserts to go with it. See...

Royal Purple and Gold DokiBook from LoveDoki.

Isn't she lovely?! Only problem is, I have started lots of planners and journals in the past and never managed to continue it past a few months. I never mean to stop but my attention span isn't great and without a huge amount to actually plan, planners get wasted. But 2016 is going to be a big year for our little family. My daughter is starting nursery this year, I have a (sort of) job now, there's blog posts to plan now :) and, hopefully this will be the year we finally buy our own house! Our OWN house! I hope there's room for a craft room...

2) How to use a slow cooker.

My darling wonderful cousin Louisa got me a slow cooker for Christmas! She knew I'd been after one for ages after we had to borrow hers for a week when the oven blew up in summer (long story...). So she remembered all these months that I wanted one and went and got one. From Lakeland no less! I wont post a link to the actual cooker, because I don't want to see how much it was, but if you're curious, its the Lakeland own 3.5lt one.

I have a huge page on pinterest filled with slow cooker recipes because when we finally have our own place I intend to be a once a month chef. You know what I mean, when the designated chef/ runner of the house spends one full day in the kitchen, prepping and bagging an entire months worth of meals, so all you have to do is take a bag out and bang it in the slow cooker. Voila, dinner is done. No mess, no fuss, it's just sorted. Plus, The Big Man is appallingly bad at portion control! It's not often he cooks, but when he does, the meal is (almost) always lovely, but there is always FAR too much. Not to mention every damn pan has been used, burnt, scratched with metal utensils and who knows what else!

3) Fireplaces.

You remember me saying a few paragraphs ago I have a sort of job? Well it's for a family friends company. My grandparents best friends have a company that builds fireplace surrounds. They get very busy, specially in certain seasons and call me in when they need an extra pair of hands. That's what I mean when I say a sort of job. I'm on the books, the taxman knows when I work, but it's not set hours, it's just as and when I'm needed. I have been told however, they are thinking about training me up to do more office/admin work than I currently do. I really hope this happens because it feels fabulous to be out of the house, feeling like I'm contributing an actual income, even if it's only a couple of days a week/month. So this year I would love to learn more about the actual fireplaces made, how they're made, how they are distributed, everything the company does, I want to learn! 

Well that's my list of what I want to learn this year. I'm quite impressed at the lack of swearing in this post! I did type this while sat in the same room as my grandparents, so it could be their influence...

There are plenty more things I would like to learn, but these 3 are actually likely to happen. It's very doubtful I'm gonna learn to speak Elvish, play the piano and fight like a ninja in the course of 1 year...

Much Love,

Hollie-emma

xXx

Q1: List Your New Years Resolutions for 2016.

Ok I know its a bit of an obvious and predictable place to start, but hey, this is only my 3rd post so I'm starting nice and easy...

1) To speak up when things upset me.
Most people who know me would tell you that I'm very vocal about things that annoy me, but for every grievance I talk about, there are another ten festering away inside, giving me anxiety and making me feel like poo. I speak up about the little things to give the impression I'm assertive, but keep quiet about the thing that really upset me. So if someone does something that really hurts me, I'll be saying something about it. NOT aggressively though! I need to find a balance between looking after myself and not hurting others in the process. If I don't like my dinner that evening, I won't be telling the chef 'Well that was shit...', but if someone makes plans with me then does said plans with someone else first, I'll be letting them know that really hurt my feelings.


2) To take better care of my appearance.
Ok, I'll clarify now, I shower regularly! But I generally do the bare minimum when it comes to looking after myself. As long as I'm clean and my clothes are clean, that's usually good enough for me. I LOVE makeup. Adore it. But I only tend to wear it if I'm going somewhere nice (which isn't often...) or to work. So it would be great if each day, instead of just getting out of the shower and getting dressed, I put a nicer outfit on, just a lick of mascara, a dab of lip balm, hell, matching underwear would be a good start! And instead of just scraping my arse length hair into a pony tail, I attempt to do something with Resolution Number 3...

3) Get a Damn Haircut!
I genuinely have Tonsurephobia so have had my hair cut twice in 13 years. I know, mental. I had it done for my 22nd birthday when my Nana prepaid for it, so couldn't back out, and again at 26, 5 months after having my daughter. Any woman who has had a kid will tell you, your hair is shot to shit after you give birth. It was falling out in clumps, snapping off in chunks, I looked a mess, so my friend Sam made an appointment for me at the salon she goes to. She pre-warned the stylist how bad I am with haircuts, so they were great with me. They turned me away from the mirror so I didn't have to see what was happening, and the hair on floor was swept away as fast as it was falling. They even let Sam take up the chair next to me, so I had a reassuring face to concentrate on and talk to. If I'm completely honest when they finally revealed the finished 'do, I was that relieved I didn't look like a tool, I burst into the tears I'd been fighting back since walking through the door. So I plan to get my hair cut at least once a year.

4) Lose Weight. 

No description needed really. I weigh more than I'd like to, so need to do something about it.

5) Rekindle neglected friendships.

I have several friends that, over the past few years, I haven't kept in touch with as well as I should have. 

In 2013, after maybe 5-6 months of irrational behaviour, I agreed to go and speak to my GP. A long talk and lots of tears later I was diagnosed with Clinical Depression that stemmed from Post Natal Depression, and Social Anxiety Disorder. I was given medication that really helped with certain aspects of these issues, but after already spending nearly 2 years not leaving my house for more than a quick grocery shop with my family, I found it, and still do, very difficult to immerse myself back into the world. I have a couple of friends that have kept in permanent touch throughout this time, so was able to leave the safety of home with them for brief moments, but they have lives of their own too, so it's very difficult to find time where all of us are able to do something together. 

I've pushed away others that want to see and have isolated myself from doing most things I used to not only enjoy but revel in, and I'm sure I've lost myself a few friends in doing so.

I'd like to say now to these people: I'm sorry. Really fucking sorry. I love you guys so much. And this year I PROMISE to push myself to see you. Even if it means only half an hour in BHS for a bun and a beverage. I'll do it. It's hard coping with someone with mental health issues. I know, I have to cope with myself everyday.

Sorry, this post is turning a bit miserable there, isn't it! So let's end on a high note...

6) Tell my daughter every day how much I love her.

Boo can be either the picture perfect angel or the demon spawn of Satan himself, it entirely depends on how she woke up that morning. But no matter how cheeky she can get and how much she gets told off for it, (and she WILL be told off... ) she will ALWAYS go to bed knowing I love her to the edge of the universe and back.

Much Love,

Hollie-emma

xXx

!!!UPDATE!!!
Just before Christmas, I HAD MY HAIRCUT! 
The Big Man said if I was going to get it done, I might as well have it done for Christmas. A friend of mine, Gemma, works at a really nice spa, so booked me an appointment with their top hairdresser Emily. 
Emily was a dream. The chick has the patience of a saint! 
She took me from this:

Down to my arse, split ends a foot long and costs me a fortune in conditioner...

To THIS:

I have a fringe!!! Feels so much better!

(S.A.F) Think I've Sorted It...

Hello again, My Fellow List Lovers!

I think I have finally organised myself and decided upon a List (Yey!) of questions to answer throughout the year. I will be answering as many of these as possible in list form to be in keeping with the theme of my blog, but some may be essay answers. My 'get out of jail card' answer for this is, the question itself is part of a list, so technically it counts! 
And to ensure there is as little monotony as possible, I have a few 30 Day Challenges to throw in there too.
I plan on posting every other day, but don't hold me to that! I can't read the future (unfortunately) so can't guarantee I won't miss days or even post more often than usual.

But I do promise to do the following 3 things:
1) To be as honest as possible in all my posts.
2) To try my best to keep things entertaining.
3) To warn in the post title if there is an abundance of bad language with the prefix (S.A.F), which stands for Sweary As Fuck. :)

If I can think of any other rules I should add here I shall edit as and when thought of.

Please feel free to pitch in, in the comment section with your answers to the questions, any questions you may have or just to say Hi!

But I do ask you do the following 3 things for me:
1) Be nice and courteous to each other! Everyone has different opinions and that's fab. We can all share them without any need to be dicks to one another.
2) Please don't spam. It's annoying. No-one wants to see how you made $10,000 a day by selling Acacia berries, specially as I'm English and am all about the Pound...
3) The exemption to rule 1 is; If your opinion is in anyway racist, sexist, homophobic, ableist, religiophobic, or any other form of hate filled nastiness targeting someone unjustly, then please do us all a favour and fuck off. Just fuck the fuck off. You fucker.

Anyways, now we all know where we stand, I'll see you all in the New Year with the first of many List posts!

Thank you so much for reading!

Much love,

Hollie-emma
xXx

Hi Everybody!

Hi Everybody!

My name is Hollie-emma, and would like to welcome you most warm heartedly to my little corner of the Internet, Write All The Lists!

Someone told me in order to write a blog, you need to write about something you are good at. Something you know a lot about. I wracked my brains for ideas, tried my hardest to come up with something I'm really good at...
I'm whats more commonly known as a 'Jack of All Trades', pretty good at a fair bit, but a master of nothing. I'm like the Duct tape of the human world, adequate at most things but brilliant at nothing.
Feeling a little glum and wallowing in self pity, I asked my dear other half, 'what would you say I'm really good at?'
Well, I won't tell you what his first answer was, but after he got the rude answers out of the way, I got 'I dunno, writing lists?'
I write lists for everything. Way beyond the usual shopping list, chores list, to do list; I write lists for anything and everything that comes into my head!

So here we are... my little blog waiting to be filled with lists of every kind.
I have spent the last eternity scouring the internet (hour or so on Pinterest...) for ideas on lists to write. Over the next few days/weeks I will be compiling them all together and figuring out a blogging schedule so that I may share my thoughts and musings with you. In list form.

Much Love,

Hollie-emma 
xXx